Emotional FAQ

Emotional preparation for surrogacy involves understanding the challenges and joys of the journey, seeking support from loved ones and professionals, and maintaining realistic expectations throughout the process. 

Preparing emotionally for surrogacy is a significant journey, not just for the intended parents but also for the surrogate. It involves a lot of emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical challenges. Here are some steps you can take to prepare emotionally for this journey:

For Intended Parents

  • Educate Yourself: Understand the surrogacy process, from the legal and medical aspects to the emotional implications. Knowledge can help alleviate fears and misconceptions.
  • Counseling: Consider professional counseling. Speaking with a therapist who specializes in surrogacy and fertility issues can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, fears, and expectations.
  • Support Groups: Join surrogacy support groups. Connecting with others who are going through or have gone through the surrogacy process can provide invaluable support and insight.
  • Build a Relationship with Your Surrogate: Developing a positive and open relationship with your surrogate can help manage expectations and foster a sense of teamwork and mutual respect.
  • Discuss Expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations, desires, and concerns with your surrogate and all professionals involved. Setting boundaries and understanding roles early on can prevent misunderstandings.
  • Prepare for Challenges: Recognize that surrogacy is a journey with potential bumps along the way, including medical, legal, or emotional challenges. Being mentally prepared for these possibilities can help you cope better.
  • Consider the Future: Think about how and when you will tell your child about their surrogacy story. This is a significant part of your family’s narrative.

For Surrogates

  • Thorough Evaluation: Undergo comprehensive medical and psychological evaluations to ensure you’re fully prepared for the physical and emotional journey of surrogacy.
  • Understand the Commitment: Fully comprehend the time, emotional, and physical commitment required. Surrogacy is a long journey that can last over a year, including the pregnancy and recovery time.
  • Family Support: Ensure you have the full support of your family. Your own family’s understanding and encouragement are crucial throughout this process.
  • Professional Counseling: Access to professional counseling services is vital. A counselor experienced in surrogacy issues can help navigate the complex emotions that can arise.
  • Connect with Other Surrogates: Like intended parents, connecting with a community of surrogates can provide support, understanding, and friendship.
  • Set Clear Boundaries: Have open discussions about your relationship with the intended parents, including the level of contact during and after the pregnancy.
  • Financial and Legal Considerations: Ensure you understand the legal implications and have a clear surrogacy agreement that outlines compensation, healthcare, and post-birth contact.

Being a surrogate can be a deeply fulfilling and complex experience, encompassing a wide range of emotions and physical sensations. 

Being a surrogate can be a deeply fulfilling and complex experience, encompassing a wide range of emotions and physical sensations. Here’s a closer look at some of the aspects involved:

Emotional Experience:

  • Fulfillment and Pride: Many surrogates feel a profound sense of pride and joy in helping someone else become a parent. This act of altruism can be incredibly rewarding.
  • Emotional Complexity: Although surrogates typically do not have a genetic connection to the child in gestational surrogacy, the experience of pregnancy can still create emotional attachments. Surrogates often work with counselors and support groups to navigate these feelings.
  • Relationships: Strong relationships are often formed between the surrogate and the intended parents, which can be a source of comfort and mutual support. However, the dynamics can sometimes be complicated, depending on the clarity of communication and the expectations set beforehand.

Physical Experience:

  • Pregnancy and Childbirth: The physical experience of being a surrogate is similar to that of a typical pregnancy, including the common symptoms and risks associated with pregnancy and childbirth.
  • Medical Procedures: Surrogacy involves numerous medical procedures, including fertility treatments, hormone injections, and potentially multiple attempts at embryo transfer. These can be physically demanding and emotionally draining.

Psychological and Social Aspects:

  • Support Systems: Effective support systems, including family, friends, and professional counseling, are crucial. They help manage the stress and emotional fluctuations that can come with being a surrogate.
  • Social Perceptions: Surrogates may face varied reactions from society, ranging from admiration to judgment, depending on cultural, social, and personal beliefs about surrogacy.

Legal and Financial Considerations:

  • Contracts and Legalities: Navigating the legal aspects of surrogacy can be complex. Surrogates need to understand and agree to the terms of the surrogacy contract, which covers compensation, healthcare, and the relinquishment of the baby to the intended parents.
  • Compensation: For some, the financial compensation can relieve or improve their own family’s financial situation, which adds another layer of motivation and emotional processing.

Choosing the right surrogate involves considering factors such as personality compatibility, medical history, shared values, and communication style to ensure a positive and supportive relationship. 

Deciding on the right surrogate is a deeply personal decision that involves careful consideration of many factors. Here are steps and criteria to consider helping ensure you make the best choice for your situation:

Work with Reputable Agencies

  • Reputable Agency: Begin by selecting a surrogacy agency with a strong reputation. They can provide valuable guidance, support, and access to a pool of potential surrogates who have been pre-screened.
  • Agency’s Screening Process: Understand the agency’s screening process for surrogates, including psychological testing, medical evaluations, and background checks.

Legal and Ethical Considerations

  • Legal Requirements: Ensure the surrogate meets the legal requirements in your state or country. Laws regarding surrogacy can vary significantly.
  • Ethical Practices: Choose a surrogate and an agency that adhere to ethical surrogacy practices, including informed consent and fair compensation.


  • Shared Values and Expectations: It’s crucial that you share similar values and expectations with your surrogate. Discuss key issues such as communication preferences, expectations for the pregnancy, and views on pregnancy-related decisions (e.g., diet, lifestyle, prenatal care).
  • Emotional Connection: While not everyone seeks a close personal relationship, feeling a positive connection or rapport with your surrogate can enrich the experience for both parties.

Health and Pregnancy History

  • Physical Health: The surrogate should be in good physical health, with a BMI within a healthy range and no major health issues that could affect the pregnancy.
  • Successful Previous Pregnancies: Ideally, your surrogate should have had at least one successful pregnancy and birth with no major complications. This indicates her ability to carry a pregnancy to term.

Lifestyle and Support System

  • Stable Lifestyle: Look for a surrogate with a stable lifestyle, including a supportive family environment, reliable transportation, and absence of harmful habits (e.g., smoking, illegal drug use).
  • Support System: A strong support system is crucial. Ensure your surrogate has family or friends who support her decision to become a surrogate.

Communication and Boundaries

  • Open Communication: Agree on the level of communication you both desire throughout the pregnancy. Some intended parents and surrogates prefer frequent updates and visits, while others may opt for less frequent communication.
  • Respect for Boundaries: Ensure both parties agree on boundaries regarding the pregnancy, including medical appointments, dietary habits, and post-birth contact.

Financial Considerations

  • Financial Agreement: Understand and agree on the financial aspects, including compensation, pregnancy-related expenses, and insurance coverage.

Psychological Readiness

  • Emotional Stability: Ensure the surrogate has undergone psychological screening to confirm her emotional stability and readiness for the emotional aspects of surrogacy.

Legal Representation

  • Independent Legal Advice: Both you and your surrogate should have independent legal counsel to ensure your rights and interests are protected, and to navigate the complexities of surrogacy agreements.

Building a strong relationship with the surrogate involves open communication, mutual respect, trust, and empathy, as well as maintaining boundaries and addressing concerns or conflicts promptly and respectfully. 

Establishing a healthy, positive relationship with your surrogate is crucial for a smooth and fulfilling surrogacy journey. Here are several steps and tips to consider in building and maintaining a good relationship with your surrogate:

Start with Clear Communication

  • Initial Meetings: Use the initial meetings to get to know each other. Discuss your hopes and expectations for the surrogacy journey.
  • Openness and Honesty: Be open and honest about what you’re comfortable with regarding the pregnancy, including the level of involvement and communication you desire.

Set Expectations Early

  • Communication Plan: Agree on how often and through what means (phone calls, texts, emails, in-person visits) you will communicate. Some prefer regular updates, while others might opt for less frequent, more significant updates.
  • Boundaries: Discuss and respect boundaries regarding privacy, medical appointments, and the surrogate’s lifestyle during pregnancy.

Show Appreciation and Respect

  • Respect Her Autonomy: Remember that while the surrogate is carrying your child, it’s her body. Showing respect for her autonomy and decisions during the pregnancy is key.
  • Express Gratitude: Simple gestures of appreciation can go a long way. Small gifts, thank-you notes, or simply expressing gratitude verbally can make your surrogate feel valued.

Include Her in the Journey

  • Prenatal Appointments: If possible, attend prenatal appointments either in person or via video call. This shows your involvement and support.
  • Keep Her Updated: Share important milestones or preparations you’re making for the baby’s arrival. It helps the surrogate feel connected to the process and the family she’s helping to build.

Support Her Needs

  • Emotional Support: Recognize that surrogacy can be emotionally taxing. Be available to listen and offer support.
  • Practical Support: Depending on your agreement, offering to help with practical aspects like transportation to appointments or meal deliveries during the pregnancy can be greatly appreciated.

Plan for the Future

  • Post-Birth Relationship: Discuss and agree on the type of relationship you both desire after the birth. Some families and surrogates remain in contact and become a part of each other’s lives, while others prefer not to.

Celebrate Together

  • Celebrate Milestones: Celebrate milestones together, such as the end of the first trimester, baby showers, and the birth. It’s a journey you’re sharing and celebrating together can strengthen your bond.

Seek Professional Guidance

  • Counseling: Sometimes, navigating the relationship can be challenging. Don’t hesitate to seek support from a counselor, especially someone experienced in surrogacy relationships.

Legal and Financial Matters

  • Transparent Arrangements: Ensure all legal and financial arrangements are clear and transparent to avoid any misunderstandings that could strain the relationship.

Respect Her Family

  • Acknowledge Her Family’s Role: Recognize and appreciate the support and sacrifices made by the surrogate’s family throughout the process.

Conflicts during the surrogacy process are common but can often be resolved through open communication, mediation, and the guidance of experienced professionals such as counselors or attorneys. 

Conflicts during the surrogacy process, though not desired, can occur due to the emotionally charged and complex nature of the journey. Handling conflicts carefully and constructively is crucial to maintain a healthy relationship between the intended parents and the surrogate. Here are some strategies to manage and resolve conflicts if they arise:

Open Communication

  • Encourage Honest Dialogue: Create a safe space for open, honest dialogue where each party can express concerns without fear of judgment.
  • Active Listening: Practice active listening, ensuring that you fully understand the concerns and feelings of the other party before responding.

Professional Mediation

  • Use of Mediators: Consider involving a neutral third party or mediator experienced in surrogacy agreements to help navigate disagreements. Sometimes, having an outside perspective can provide solutions neither party considered.
  • Counseling: Engage in counseling sessions with professionals who specialize in assisted reproductive technology (ART) issues. These professionals can offer guidance tailored to the unique challenges of surrogacy.

Revisit the Agreement

  • Review the Surrogacy Agreement: Often, the contract or agreement made at the beginning of the journey outlines procedures for handling disputes. Reviewing this document can remind both parties of their initial commitments and agreed-upon conflict resolution methods.
  • Adjust Expectations: Sometimes, conflicts arise from unrealistic or unexpressed expectations. Revisiting and adjusting these expectations can help resolve tensions.


  • Seek Common Ground: Look for solutions that address the most critical concerns of both parties. Compromise may not provide everything one side wants, but it can lead to an acceptable resolution for both.
  • Prioritize the Surrogacy Journey: Remember the ultimate goal of creating or expanding a family. Keeping this goal in focus can help both parties prioritize compromise over conflict.

Legal Consultation

  • Consult Legal Counsel: In cases where the conflict pertains to the agreement’s terms or legal issues, consulting with legal counsel can clarify rights and obligations under the contract and the law.
  • Prepare for Legal Mediation: If a resolution cannot be reached through discussion or mediation, legal mediation may be the next step, as outlined in the surrogacy agreement.

Support System

  • Lean on Support Groups: Both surrogates and intended parents can benefit from the support and advice of those who have gone through similar experiences. Surrogacy support groups can offer practical advice on navigating conflicts.
  • Involve the Agency: If you’re working with a surrogacy agency, involve them in the conflict resolution process. They have experience handling such disputes and can offer solutions.

Emotional Well-being

  • Focus on Emotional Health: Conflicts can be stressful and emotionally taxing. Paying attention to emotional well-being is crucial. This might mean taking a step back to cool down before addressing issues or seeking emotional support from a therapist or counselor.

Future Relationship

  • Consider the Long-term Relationship: The relationship between intended parents and surrogates can last beyond the pregnancy. When addressing conflicts, consider how actions and resolutions will impact this ongoing relationship.

Intended parents can access a variety of support services, including counseling, support groups, online forums, and educational resources, to help them navigate the emotional challenges of surrogacy. 

For intended parents embarking on the surrogacy journey, a wide range of support services is available to help navigate the complexities of the process, provide emotional support, and ensure a smoother experience. Here are some of the key support services and resources intended parents can utilize:

Surrogacy Agencies

  • Full-Service Agencies: These agencies offer comprehensive services including matching with a surrogate, coordinating medical and legal services, and providing counseling and support throughout the surrogacy journey.
  • Consultation Services: For intended parents choosing to manage some aspects of surrogacy independently, consultation services offer guidance on specific steps of the process.

Legal Services

  • Surrogacy Attorneys: Specialized legal professionals who understand the intricacies of surrogacy law can help draft agreements, navigate state or country-specific laws, and ensure the intended parents’ rights are protected.
  • Legal Mediation Services: In case of disputes or conflicts, legal mediators experienced in surrogacy can offer resolution services.

Medical and Fertility Clinics

  • Fertility Specialists: Clinics specializing in reproductive technologies provide medical services, including IVF, egg or sperm donation, and embryo transfer, ensuring the medical aspect of surrogacy is handled safely and effectively.
  • Counseling Services: Many fertility clinics offer counseling for intended parents to help cope with the emotional aspects of fertility treatments and surrogacy.

Psychological Support Services

  • Therapists and Counselors: Professionals specializing in fertility and surrogacy issues can offer valuable emotional support, helping intended parents deal with stress, anxiety, or emotional challenges during the surrogacy process.
  • Support Groups: Joining support groups for intended parents can provide a sense of community, shared experience, and mutual support.

Financial Advisors

  • Surrogacy Financing Services: Some organizations and agencies offer financing plans, loans, or grants to help manage the costs of surrogacy, which can be significant.
  • Insurance Consultants: Experts in insurance can help navigate the complexities of health insurance for surrogacy, including finding policies that cover surrogates or newborns.

Online Resources and Communities

  • Informational Websites: Websites dedicated to surrogacy provide a wealth of information on the process, legal considerations, and personal stories.
  • Online Forums and Social Media: Online communities offer a platform for intended parents to ask questions, share experiences, and find emotional support from peers.

Post-Birth Support

  • Postpartum Support: Professionals specializing in postpartum care can offer advice and support in adjusting to parenthood, including lactation consultants if intended mothers wish to breastfeed.
  • Parenting Workshops: Workshops and classes can help intended parents prepare for the arrival of their child, covering topics from newborn care to parenting strategies.

Surrogates can access support services such as counseling, peer support groups, mentorship programs, and financial assistance to help them cope with the physical, emotional, and logistical demands of surrogacy. 

Surrogates play a crucial role in the surrogacy process, undertaking a significant emotional and physical journey. Recognizing this, there are various support services specifically designed to assist surrogates before, during, and after the pregnancy. These services aim to ensure that surrogates receive the care, support, and guidance they need throughout their surrogacy experience.

Surrogacy Agencies

  • Agency Support: Many surrogacy agencies offer comprehensive support to surrogates, including matching them with intended parents, coordinating medical and legal processes, and providing ongoing support through case managers or coordinators.
  • Peer Support: Agencies often facilitate connections between surrogates, allowing them to share experiences and support each other.

Medical Support

  • Medical Care: Surrogates receive medical care related to the surrogacy pregnancy, including fertility treatments, prenatal care, and any necessary interventions during pregnancy and delivery.
  • Mental Health Services: Access to mental health professionals who specialize in surrogacy and reproductive issues is critical. These services can help surrogates navigate the emotional aspects of their journey.

Legal Services

  • Legal Representation: Surrogates should have independent legal representation to ensure their rights and interests are protected in the surrogacy agreement. Legal services also cover the negotiation of compensation and terms of the surrogacy.
  • Mediation Services: In case of disputes or conflicts with intended parents, surrogates can access mediation services to find a resolution.

Financial and Insurance Support

  • Compensation and Expenses: Surrogates receive compensation and reimbursement for pregnancy-related expenses, which is negotiated with the intended parents and outlined in the surrogacy agreement.
  • Insurance Review and Assistance: Surrogacy professionals can help surrogates understand their existing insurance policies and assist in obtaining additional coverage if needed.

Psychological and Emotional Support

  • Counseling: Access to counseling throughout the surrogacy process helps surrogates deal with emotional challenges, including the complexities of carrying a child for someone else.
  • Support Groups: Being part of a surrogate support group allows for the sharing of experiences and advice, providing a sense of community and mutual understanding.

Post-Delivery Support

  • Postpartum Care: After delivery, surrogates have access to medical care to ensure a healthy recovery. This includes physical and mental health services.
  • Continued Support: Some agencies offer continued support after the birth, helping surrogates transition emotionally and physically post-pregnancy.

Educational Resources

  • Information and Workshops: Surrogates can access educational resources and workshops on various aspects of the surrogacy process, health during pregnancy, and the legal implications of surrogacy.

Family Support Services

  • Family Counseling: Recognizing the impact of surrogacy on the surrogate’s family, some agencies provide counseling and support services for family members, helping them understand the process and cope with any challenges.

Community and Social Connections

  • Social Events: Agencies and support groups may organize social events and gatherings for surrogates, fostering a sense of community and belonging.

Coping with failed surrogacy attempts involves allowing oneself to grieve, seeking support from loved ones and professionals, exploring alternative options, and maintaining hope for the future.

Dealing with failed attempts in the surrogacy process can be incredibly challenging, bringing a mix of disappointment, grief, and stress. Both intended parents and surrogates may feel the emotional impact deeply. Here are ways to manage and navigate through these difficult times:

For Intended Parents

  • Allow Yourself to Grieve: Recognize that it’s natural to feel a sense of loss and grief. Allow yourself time to process these emotions without judgment.
  • Seek Support: Don’t go through this alone. Lean on your partner, family, friends, or a support group who can offer empathy and understanding. Surrogacy and infertility support groups, both in-person and online, can be particularly helpful.
  • Professional Counseling: Consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor, especially one who specializes in fertility issues. They can provide strategies to cope with grief, stress, and the rollercoaster of emotions you may be experiencing.
  • Communication with Your Surrogate: Maintain open lines of communication with your surrogate. Remember, she may also be experiencing feelings of loss and disappointment. Supporting each other can strengthen your relationship during this tough time.
  • Take a Break: If you’ve faced multiple unsuccessful attempts, taking a break before deciding on the next steps can be beneficial. This allows you time to heal emotionally and reassess your options with a clearer mind.
  • Educate Yourself: Understanding the reasons behind the failed attempt can sometimes provide closure or a path forward. Consult with your medical team to gain insights and discuss potential changes for future attempts.
  • Explore Alternatives: If continuing with surrogacy is still your goal, discuss with your medical and surrogacy professionals about what can be done differently in future attempts. This might include different medical techniques, changing surrogates, or considering a different egg or sperm donor.

For Surrogates

  • Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s important to recognize your own feelings of disappointment or sadness. You’ve invested a lot of yourself in this process, and it’s natural to feel a sense of loss.
  • Seek Support: Utilize the support services offered by the agency, connect with other surrogates who have had similar experiences, and don’t hesitate to reach out to professional counselors for emotional support.
  • Communicate with the Intended Parents: Share your feelings and experiences with the intended parents. Mutual support can be healing for both parties.
  • Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize your physical and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that you find relaxing and rejuvenating.
  • Reflect on the Experience: Consider journaling or other reflective practices to process your emotions and the experience. This can be a helpful tool in moving forward.
  • Consider Future Steps: If you’re open to trying again, discuss with the agency and intended parents about what adjustments might be made for future attempts. However, take enough time to ensure you’re emotionally and physically ready to embark on the journey again.

For Both

  • Remember the Goal: Keep in mind the ultimate goal of your journey. Staying focused on the hope of building a family can provide motivation and strength to continue.
  • Reevaluate Plans: After a period of reflection and emotional recovery, reassess your plans and consider what options are best moving forward. This might involve continuing with surrogacy, exploring other paths to parenthood, or taking time to explore what you truly want next.

Explaining surrogacy to family and friends involves providing accurate information, addressing misconceptions or concerns, and emphasizing the positive aspects of the journey, such as creating families and helping others. 

Explaining surrogacy to family and friends can be a significant step in your journey, requiring sensitivity, clarity, and preparedness for a range of reactions. Here’s how you can approach this conversation:

Prepare Yourself

  • Understand the Process: Be clear about the surrogacy process yourself, including the reasons you chose surrogacy, how it works, and what it entails for everyone involved.
  • Anticipate Questions and Concerns: Think about the questions and concerns your family and friends might have. Be prepared to address common inquiries regarding the surrogate’s relationship to the child, legal aspects, and the emotional implications.

Choose the Right Time and Place

  • Pick a Comfortable Setting: Choose a quiet, private time and place where you can talk without interruptions. This setting will encourage open conversation and honest questions.
  • Consider Your Audience: Tailor your approach based on who you are talking to. The level of detail and the way you present information might differ between explaining surrogacy to your parents, siblings, or close friends.

Use Simple and Clear Language

  • Explain What Surrogacy Is: Start with a basic definition of surrogacy. For example, “Surrogacy is a process where another woman carries and gives birth to our baby for us because we are unable to do so ourselves.”
  • Clarify Roles: Make it clear that the surrogate is not genetically related to the child in gestational surrogacy. Explain the roles of everyone involved, including the intended parents, surrogate, and any donors.

Share Your Reasons

  • Personalize Your Story: Share your personal journey to surrogacy. Explain why it was the right choice for you, whether due to medical reasons, infertility, or other factors.
  • Focus on the Positive: Highlight the positive aspects of surrogacy, such as the opportunity to have a biological child and the supportive relationship with the surrogate.

Address Ethical Considerations

  • Discuss the Mutual Agreement: Reassure them that surrogacy is a carefully considered decision made with respect, legal guidance, and mutual agreement between all parties involved.
  • Ethical Practices: Talk about the ethical considerations you’ve taken into account, including the surrogate’s well-being and the legal protections in place.

Encourage Questions

  • Open Floor for Questions: Allow them to ask questions and express their feelings. Some may need time to understand or accept surrogacy as a concept.
  • Provide Resources: Offer to share articles, books, or websites with reputable information about surrogacy to help them understand better.

Express Your Needs

  • Ask for Support: Clearly express what kind of support you need from them during this journey. Whether it’s emotional support, understanding, or simply being there for you, let them know how they can help.

Be Prepared for Different Reactions

  • Expect a Range of Emotions: People may react differently, from immediate support to confusion or concern. Be patient and understand their initial reactions and give them time to process the information.

Keep the Conversation Going

  • Update Regularly: Keep them updated on the progress of the surrogacy journey. Sharing milestones can help them feel involved and supportive.

Maintaining a healthy relationship with the surrogate after birth involves ongoing communication, expressing gratitude, sharing updates about the baby, and respecting her role in the child’s life, as agreed upon in the surrogacy contract.

Preserving a healthy relationship with your surrogate after the birth of your child is an important consideration for many intended parents. The nature of this relationship can vary greatly depending on the wishes of both parties, but here are several strategies to help nurture and maintain a positive relationship post-birth: 

Discuss Expectations Early On

  • Set Clear Expectations: Before the birth, have an open and honest conversation about what kind of relationship you all envision post-birth. Discuss the level of contact you’re comfortable with, including visits, updates, and the sharing of photos or milestones.
  • Be Flexible: Understand that feelings and circumstances may change over time. Be open to revisiting and adjusting your agreement as needed.

Show Appreciation

  • Express Gratitude: Continue to express your gratitude to the surrogate for her incredible gift. Acknowledging her role in your family’s life can strengthen your bond.
  • Thoughtful Gestures: Consider sending occasional updates, photos, or tokens of appreciation to the surrogate, showing that you remember and value her contribution to your family.

Respect Boundaries

  • Honor Agreed Boundaries: Stick to the agreed-upon boundaries regarding communication and interaction. Respect her privacy and her decision if she prefers to have more or less contact.
  • ommunicate Openly: Keep lines of communication open. If you’re unsure about something, it’s better to discuss it openly rather than making assumptions.

Provide Support

  • Check-In: The postpartum period can be emotionally and physically challenging. Check in on your surrogate’s well-being and offer support as appropriate.
  • Offer Resources: If she experiences postpartum difficulties, be prepared to offer information on resources or support networks that may help her.

Celebrate and Acknowledge

  • Acknowledge Her on Milestones: Recognize her during significant milestones or anniversaries of the child’s birth. A simple message or card can mean a lot.
  • Include Her (If Appropriate): Depending on the nature of your relationship, consider including her in special celebrations or milestones for the child, if she and you are comfortable with it.

Maintain Privacy

  • Respect Privacy: Share updates or photos with her discretion, and never share her personal story or details about the surrogacy with others without her explicit consent.
  • Sensitive Information: Be cautious and respectful about how you discuss the surrogacy with the child and others, always honoring the surrogate’s role and privacy.

Navigate the Relationship with Your Child

  • Prepare to Talk to Your Child: Be ready to explain the surrogate’s role to your child in an age-appropriate way, framing it as a positive and loving act.
  • Guidance on Contact: If your child expresses a desire to know or contact the surrogate, handle this sensitively, respecting both the child’s and the surrogate’s feelings and boundaries.

Seek Professional Advice if Needed

  • Professional Guidance: If you encounter any difficulties in navigating this relationship, don’t hesitate to seek advice from a counselor or therapist who specializes in surrogacy or postpartum issues.

If the surrogate forms a bond with the baby, it’s essential to acknowledge and validate her feelings while also maintaining clear boundaries and ensuring that the child’s best interests are prioritized. 

It’s natural for a surrogate to form some level of emotional attachment to the baby she carries; after all, pregnancy involves both physical and emotional experiences. However, surrogates enter this journey with a clear understanding of their role: to help bring a child into the world for someone else. Here’s how to navigate situations where a surrogate forms a bond with the baby:

Understand the Nature of the Bond

  • Acknowledge Feelings: Recognize that the surrogate’s feelings are natural and not a threat to your relationship with your child. Surrogates are typically well-prepared mentally and emotionally for their role, including managing attachment.
  • Differentiate Types of Bonds: The bond a surrogate forms is often different from a parental bond. It may be more akin to the affection one might feel for a niece or nephew, characterized by care and concern but with an understanding of the child’s place in another family.

Preparation and Support

  • Comprehensive Screening: Surrogacy agencies conduct thorough psychological screenings and counseling to ensure surrogates are emotionally prepared for their role and the eventual separation after birth.
  • Ongoing Support: Both intended parents and surrogates should have access to counseling throughout the pregnancy and after the birth to discuss and manage feelings of attachment.

Open Communication

  • Discuss Expectations: Have open discussions about emotions and attachment during the pregnancy. This can help manage expectations and alleviate concerns.
  • Support After Birth: Keep lines of communication open after the birth. Allow the surrogate to express her feelings and provide her with support to process the transition.

Create a Clear Plan

  • Post-Birth Contact: Decide on the level of contact or involvement (if any) the surrogate will have with the child and family after birth. Some families and surrogates choose to maintain a relationship, while others do not.
  • Legal and Psychological Guidance: Make sure there are clear agreements in place, backed by legal and psychological counsel, to address any potential emotional complexities post-birth.

Educate Yourself and Seek Support

  • Educational Resources: Intended parents should educate themselves on the emotional dynamics of surrogacy to better understand and support the surrogate.
  • Peer and Professional Support: Utilize support groups and counseling services offered by surrogacy agencies or independent professionals specializing in assisted reproductive technology (ART).

Foster a Positive Relationship

  • Build a Positive Relationship: Establishing a positive, respectful relationship with the surrogate can help manage emotional complexities and support her through the process of detachment.

Prepare for Transition

  • Plan for Immediate Post-Birth: Have a plan for the hospital and immediate post-birth period that respects the surrogate’s need for closure as well as the intended parents’ need to bond with the baby.
  • Acknowledge the Surrogate’s Role: Recognizing and celebrating the surrogate’s role in your family’s story can provide a sense of closure and fulfillment for the surrogate.

Recognize When Additional Help is Needed

  • Professional Intervention: If the surrogate or the intended parents are struggling with the emotional aspects of detachment, don’t hesitate to seek additional professional support.

Managing expectations during surrogacy involves staying informed, being flexible, focusing on the bigger picture, and recognizing that challenges and setbacks are a natural part of the journey. 

Managing expectations during the surrogacy process is crucial for everyone involved, ensuring a smooth and positive journey. Here are several key strategies:

Understand the Process Thoroughly

  • Research: Start with a deep dive into the surrogacy process. Understand the different types (gestational vs. traditional), legal implications, and the roles of each party involved.
  • Professional Guidance: Consult with surrogacy agencies, fertility clinics, and legal professionals who specialize in this field. They can provide valuable insights and clarify what to expect at each stage.

Open Communication

  • Initial Conversations: Early and open discussions between the intended parents and the surrogate about expectations, desires, and boundaries are essential.
  • Ongoing Communication: Maintain regular, open lines of communication throughout the journey. Address any concerns or questions as they arise.

Setting Realistic Expectations

  • Emotional Preparedness: Recognize the emotional complexities involved for both the surrogate and the intended parents. Counseling or support groups can be beneficial.
  • Financial Clarity: Have a clear understanding of the financial aspects, including compensation for the surrogate, medical expenses, and any legal costs.

Legal and Ethical Considerations

  • Legal Agreements: Ensure a comprehensive legal contract is in place, detailing all aspects of the arrangement, including parental rights, financial agreements, and procedures for potential complications.
  • Ethical Practices: Work with reputable agencies and professionals who follow established ethical guidelines in surrogacy practices.

Plan for the Unexpected

  • Flexibility: Understand that surrogacy is a complex process and may not always go as planned. Be prepared to adjust plans and expectations as needed.
  • Contingency Plans: Discuss and prepare for potential challenges, such as medical complications, changes in the surrogate’s circumstances, or legal issues.

Support Systems

  • Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or others who have gone through the surrogacy process.
  • Professional Support: Consider the value of counseling or support groups for both intended parents and surrogates to navigate the emotional aspects of the journey.

Celebrate Milestones

  • Recognize and celebrate milestones throughout the journey to foster positivity and appreciation for the surrogate and the process.

Post-Birth Plans

  • Relationships Post-Birth: Discuss and plan for the type of relationship everyone wants post-birth. This includes the surrogate’s role and how ongoing communication will be handled.
  • Adjusting to Parenthood: For intended parents, prepare for the transition to parenthood, recognizing that it may come with its own set of challenges and joys.

Coping with anxiety and stress during surrogacy involves practicing self-care, seeking support from loved ones and professionals, staying organized, and focusing on positive coping strategies such as mindfulness and relaxation techniques.

Coping with anxiety and stress during the surrogacy process is crucial for your well-being and the overall success of the journey. Here are several strategies to help manage these feelings:

Education and Understanding

  • Learn About the Process: Familiarize yourself with the surrogacy journey, including its stages and potential challenges. Knowledge can empower you and reduce anxiety stemming from the unknown.
  • Set Realistic Expectations: Understanding that the process can be unpredictable and preparing mentally for possible ups and downs can help manage stress.

Open Communication

  • Maintain Open Lines: Regular and open communication with your surrogacy partner, agency, and medical professionals can help alleviate concerns and clarify any misunderstandings.
  • Express Your Feelings: Don’t hesitate to share your feelings with those involved in the process. Being honest about your emotions can lead to support and reassurance.

Seek Support

  • Join Support Groups: Connecting with others who are going through or have gone through the surrogacy process can provide comfort and advice.
  • Professional Help: If anxiety or stress becomes overwhelming, consider seeking help from a mental health professional experienced in fertility or surrogacy issues.

Practice Self-Care

  • Healthy Lifestyle: Engage in physical activities, eat a balanced diet, and ensure you’re getting enough rest. Taking care of your body can improve your overall mood and resilience.
  • Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as meditation, yoga, or deep-breathing exercises can reduce stress and anxiety levels.

Prepare for the Emotional Journey

  • Emotional Preparedness: Acknowledge that it’s normal to have mixed emotions during this time. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment.
  • Counseling: Consider counseling to navigate the complex feelings that come with surrogacy, including the unique forms of attachment and loss that can occur.

Focus on the Goal

  • Visualize the Outcome: Remind yourself of the ultimate goal of your surrogacy journey. Visualizing the moment you become a parent can help keep the challenges in perspective.

Create a Stress Management Plan

  • Identify Stressors: Recognize the aspects of the surrogacy process that cause you the most anxiety and stress. Developing strategies for these specific areas can make them more manageable.
  • Build a Supportive Environment: Ensure you have a supportive network around you, including friends, family, and professionals who understand and can provide assistance when needed.

Stay Involved

  • Be as Involved as Possible: Staying informed and involved in the surrogacy process can help you feel more in control and less anxious.

Legal and Financial Planning

  • Understand the Legalities: Being clear on the legal aspects, including your rights and responsibilities, can reduce worries about unforeseen legal complications.
  • Financial Planning: Ensure you have a clear understanding of the financial commitment required, including potential unexpected costs, to reduce stress related to financial uncertainties.

Handling uncertainties and setbacks during surrogacy involves acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, seeking support, staying flexible, and maintaining perspective on the ultimate goal of building a family.

Handling uncertainties and setbacks during the surrogacy journey requires resilience, flexibility, and a proactive mindset. Here are strategies to navigate through these challenges effectively:

Embrace Flexibility

  • Expect the Unexpected: Recognize from the outset that the surrogacy process can be unpredictable. Being mentally prepared for changes can make it easier to adapt when they occur.
  • Flexible Mindset: Cultivate a mindset that is open to adjusting plans as needed. Flexibility can help mitigate stress when faced with uncertainties.

Strengthen Communication

  • Open Lines of Communication: Maintain clear and open communication with your surrogate, surrogacy agency, and medical professionals. This ensures you are informed and can make necessary adjustments quickly.
  • Express Concerns: Don’t hesitate to voice your concerns and ask questions whenever uncertainties arise. Seeking clarity can alleviate worries and help you feel more in control.

Seek Support

  • Surrogacy Support Groups: Joining support groups can connect you with others who have faced or are facing similar challenges. Sharing experiences and solutions can provide comfort and practical advice.
  • Professional Guidance: Utilize the expertise of your surrogacy agency and legal advisors to navigate setbacks. They can offer professional advice and solutions based on their experience.

Focus on What You Can Control

  • Manageable Steps: Break down overwhelming situations into smaller, manageable tasks. Focus on what you can control and take action on those aspects.
  • Decision-Making: When faced with decisions, take time to consider your options carefully. Making informed choices can help mitigate uncertainties and give you a sense of control.

Prioritize Self-Care

  • Manage Stress: Engage in activities that reduce stress, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies. Managing your stress levels can improve your ability to deal with setbacks.
  • Emotional Well-being: Pay attention to your emotional health. It’s okay to seek counseling or therapy if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the process.

Plan for Contingencies

  • Backup Plans: Having contingency plans in place for potential setbacks can provide a sense of security. Discuss these plans with your surrogacy team.
  • Financial Planning: Ensure you have considered the financial implications of potential setbacks, including having a financial buffer if possible.

Celebrate Progress

  • Acknowledge Milestones: Recognize and celebrate the progress made, no matter how small. This can help maintain a positive outlook and motivate everyone involved.
  • Gratitude: Practicing gratitude for the journey and everyone involved can help shift focus from the challenges to the positive aspects.

Educate Yourself

  • Understanding Risks: Educate yourself about the potential risks and uncertainties inherent in the surrogacy process. Knowing the possible outcomes can reduce the shock or disappointment from setbacks.
  • Stay Informed: Keeping up-to-date with the latest developments in surrogacy practices and legislation can help you anticipate and prepare for changes.

Emotional Resilience

  • Emotional Preparedness: Prepare yourself emotionally for the ups and downs. Recognize that it’s natural to feel a range of emotions and that resilience is built through navigating these experiences.
  • Seek Emotional Support: Lean on your support network for emotional strength. Sharing your feelings with someone who understands can be incredibly reassuring.

Navigating cultural differences and expectations involves open-mindedness, respect for diversity, willingness to learn and adapt, and clear communication to ensure mutual understanding and respect among all parties involved.

Navigating cultural differences and expectations requires sensitivity, openness, and a willingness to engage in meaningful dialogue. Whether in a personal, professional, or academic setting, understanding and respecting diversity is crucial. Here are strategies to effectively navigate cultural differences and expectations:

Educate Yourself

  • Learn about the Culture: Take the time to learn about the other culture’s traditions, values, communication styles, and norms. Books, documentaries, and credible online resources can be valuable.
  • Language Learning: If applicable, learning the basics of the language can show respect and effort in understanding the culture.

Open Communication

  • Ask Questions: Show genuine curiosity about the other person’s culture by asking respectful questions. It’s a way to express interest and learn directly from those living through the experience.
  • Express Your Own Culture: Be open to sharing information about your own culture and perspectives. Mutual exchange can foster understanding and respect.

Practice Active Listening

  • Listen to Understand: When engaging in conversations, listen attentively without forming judgments or interruptions. Understanding comes from truly hearing what the other person is saying.
  • Nonverbal Cues: Pay attention to nonverbal communication, as it can vary greatly between cultures. What’s considered polite in one culture might not be in another.

Cultural Sensitivity

  • Avoid Assumptions: Do not make assumptions about individuals based on stereotypes or limited information. Treat each person as an individual, recognizing that there is great diversity within any culture.
  • Be Respectful: Always approach differences with respect and humility. Acknowledge when you don’t know something and be open to learning.


  • Flexibility in Interaction: Be willing to adapt your communication style, if necessary, to bridge cultural differences. This might include being more or less direct, adjusting your pace of speaking, or even adapting to different forms of greeting.
  • Cultural Norms: Adapt your behavior in certain situations to align with cultural norms, as long as it doesn’t compromise your values. This could involve dress codes, punctuality, or forms of address.

Seek Common Ground

  • Find Shared Interests: Look for universal themes or interests that can serve as common ground, such as food, music, sports, or literature. Shared interests can be a powerful way to connect across cultural lines.
  • Emphasize Similarities: While it’s important to recognize and respect differences, highlighting similarities can foster a sense of unity and understanding.

Build Empathy and Patience

  • Empathy: Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, especially when cultural differences lead to misunderstandings or conflicts. Understanding the other person’s perspective can facilitate resolution and harmony.
  • Patience: Cultural integration and understanding take time. Be patient with yourself and others as everyone navigates the complexities of cultural differences.

Engage in Cultural Immersion

  • Participate in Cultural Practices: Whenever appropriate, participate in cultural practices or ceremonies. Immersion can be one of the most effective ways to understand and appreciate a culture deeply.
  • Cultural Exchanges: Engage in cultural exchange programs or events that allow for deeper interaction and learning about other cultures.

Communicating effectively involves active listening, clear and respectful expression of thoughts and feelings, empathy, and the willingness to address concerns and conflicts openly and constructively.

Effective communication is essential in any context, whether personal, professional, or academic. It ensures that all parties involved understand each other clearly, facilitating cooperation and minimizing misunderstandings. Here are some strategies to enhance your communication skills:

Active Listening

  • Listen to Understand: Give your full attention to the speaker, focusing on understanding their message without immediately planning your response or rebuttal.
  • Acknowledge and Reflect: Show that you’re listening by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and reflecting back on what you’ve heard to confirm understanding.

Clear and Concise Messaging

  • Be Direct: Communicate your message clearly and directly to avoid ambiguity. State your main points upfront and then elaborate as needed.
  • Simplicity: Use simple, straightforward language. Avoid jargon or complex terms that might confuse the listener.

Adapt to Your Audience

  • Understand Your Audience: Tailor your communication style to fit your audience. Consider their background, knowledge level, and preferences in communication style.
  • Cultural Sensitivity: Be aware of cultural differences that may affect communication preferences and styles. Adjust your approach accordingly to respect these differences.

Emotional Intelligence

  • Empathy: Try to understand and empathize with the emotions and perspectives of others. This can help in crafting messages that are considerate and well-received.
  • Self-Awareness: Be aware of your own emotions and how they might affect your communication. Strive to maintain a calm and respectful tone, even in challenging situations.

Effective Nonverbal Communication

  • Body Language: Be mindful of your body language, as it can convey confidence, openness, or defensiveness. Aim for an open posture and maintain appropriate eye contact.
  • Tone of Voice: Pay attention to your tone, as it can significantly impact how your message is received. Ensure your tone matches your message.

Feedback Mechanisms

  • Seek Feedback: Encourage and welcome feedback to understand how your message was received and whether any clarifications are needed.
  • Constructive Feedback: Offer feedback in a constructive manner, focusing on specific observations and suggestions for improvement rather than criticism.

Conflict Resolution Skills

  • Address Conflicts Promptly: Do not let misunderstandings or disagreements fester. Address them directly and seek a resolution that respects all parties’ needs and perspectives.
  • Problem-Solving Approach: Focus on the problem, not the person, and work together to find a solution that addresses the issue at hand.

Follow-Up and Documentation

  • Summarize and Confirm: At the end of a conversation or meeting, summarize the key points and any agreed-upon actions to ensure everyone is on the same page.
  • Documentation: When appropriate, follow up with written documentation of important discussions, decisions, and action plans. This can serve as a reference and help keep everyone aligned.

Continuous Improvement

  • Reflect and Learn: After important communications, take time to reflect on what went well and what could be improved. Continuous learning and adjustment are key to developing effective communication skills.
  • Practice: Like any skill, effective communication improves with practice. Seek opportunities to engage in diverse communication scenarios.

Ensuring the well-being of all parties involves prioritizing safety, physical and emotional health, respect, and dignity, as well as maintaining clear communication, boundaries, and mutual support throughout the surrogacy journey.

Ensuring the well-being of all parties involved in any situation—be it personal, professional, or academic—requires a proactive and thoughtful approach. Here’s how you can prioritize and protect everyone’s well-being:

Open and Honest Communication

  • Encourage Dialogue: Foster an environment where open and honest communication is encouraged. Make sure everyone feels safe to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns.
  • Active Listening: Practice active listening to understand the needs and concerns of all parties. Acknowledge and validate their feelings, even if a solution isn’t immediately available.

Respect and Understanding

  • Cultural Sensitivity: Be aware of and sensitive to cultural differences. Understanding these nuances can help in creating a more inclusive and respectful environment.
  • Personal Boundaries: Recognize and respect personal boundaries. Encourage everyone to share their boundaries and work to ensure they are respected.

Support Systems

  • Access to Resources: Ensure that all parties have access to the resources they need, whether it’s emotional support, information, or practical tools.
  • Mental Health Resources: Provide information on or access to mental health resources. Encouraging the use of these resources can help individuals manage stress and other challenges.

Conflict Resolution

  • Neutral Mediation: In cases of conflict, offer neutral mediation to help resolve issues constructively. Aim for solutions that acknowledge and address the needs of all parties.
  • Problem-Solving: Encourage a collaborative approach to problem-solving. This can help ensure that solutions consider everyone’s well-being.

Flexibility and Adaptability

  • Adjust Policies and Practices: Be willing to adjust policies, practices, or plans to better accommodate the needs of all parties involved.
  • Feedback Loops: Establish mechanisms for feedback to continually assess and improve the well-being of everyone involved.

Educational and Development Opportunities

  • Professional Development: Offer opportunities for professional or personal development that can enhance individual well-being.
  • Educational Resources: Provide access to educational resources that can help individuals understand how to manage their own well-being effectively.

Work-Life Balance

  • Encourage Balance: Promote a healthy balance between work or academic responsibilities and personal life. Recognize the importance of downtime and rest.
  • Flexible Scheduling: Where possible, offer flexible scheduling options to accommodate different needs and life circumstances.

Physical Environment

  • Safe and Comfortable Spaces: Ensure that the physical environment is safe, comfortable, and conducive to well-being. This includes considerations for accessibility, ergonomics, and personal space.
  • Health and Safety Measures: Implement and enforce health and safety measures, especially in situations where physical well-being may be at risk.

Recognition and Appreciation

  • Acknowledge Contributions: Regularly acknowledge and appreciate the contributions of all parties. Recognition can significantly boost morale and well-being.
  • Celebrate Milestones: Celebrate milestones and successes, big and small, to foster a sense of achievement and community.

Self-Care Encouragement

  • Promote Self-Care: Encourage individuals to engage in self-care practices. Share resources or ideas for self-care activities that can support well-being.

Prioritizing self-care involves recognizing one’s needs and limitations, setting boundaries, seeking support when needed, engaging in activities that promote well-being, and taking breaks to recharge and rejuvenate.

Prioritizing self-care during the surrogacy journey is crucial for both intended parents and surrogates, as it can be an emotionally and physically demanding process. Here are strategies to help maintain your well-being:

For Intended Parents

Emotional Self-Care

  • Support Networks: Engage with support groups or communities who understand the surrogacy process. Sharing experiences can provide comfort and advice.
  • Professional Support: Consider therapy or counseling to navigate the complex emotions associated with surrogacy. A professional can offer coping mechanisms and emotional support.

Physical Self-Care

  • Healthy Lifestyle: Maintain a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and ensure adequate rest. Physical health significantly impacts emotional well-being.
  • Relaxation Techniques: Practice relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, or deep-breathing exercises to manage stress.

Intellectual Self-Care

  • Educate Yourself: Stay informed about the surrogacy process, but ensure your sources are credible to avoid unnecessary stress.
  • Set Boundaries: Limit your exposure to stressful or triggering information. It’s okay to take breaks from research or discussions about surrogacy when needed.

Practical Self-Care

  • Delegate Tasks: Don’t hesitate to ask for help or delegate tasks to manage your workload and reduce stress.
  • Financial Planning: Organize your finances early in the process. Consider consulting a financial advisor to manage the costs associated with surrogacy without compromising your financial health.

For Surrogates

Physical Health

  • Medical Care: Attend all medical appointments and follow your healthcare provider’s advice to ensure your health and the baby’s health.
  • Nutrition and Exercise: Focus on nutritious foods and regular, gentle exercise, as advised by your healthcare provider.

Emotional and Mental Well-being

  • Support System: Lean on your support system, including family, friends, and other surrogates. Their understanding and support can be invaluable.
  • Professional Resources: Utilize counseling services provided by the surrogacy agency or seek external therapy. Discussing feelings and concerns with a professional can help manage stress and anxiety.

Personal Time

  • Hobbies and Interests: Continue engaging in hobbies and activities you enjoy. Personal time is essential for mental health and overall well-being.
  • Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate relaxation and mindfulness practices into your routine to help cope with stress and improve emotional balance.


  • Open Dialogue: Maintain an open line of communication with the intended parents and the surrogacy agency. Feel empowered to express your needs and concerns.
  • Boundary Setting: It’s important to establish and communicate your boundaries regarding your relationship with the intended parents and during the pregnancy.

Logistics and Planning

  • Childcare: If you have other children, arrange for additional help or childcare as needed, especially around the due date.
  • Post-Birth Plan: Discuss and plan for your recovery time post-birth, including any needed support from your family or the intended parents.

Addressing questions and comments from others involves providing factual information, setting boundaries, advocating for oneself and one’s family, and educating others about surrogacy with patience and empathy.

Addressing questions and comments from others about sensitive or personal topics, like surrogacy, requires a balance between openness and setting boundaries. Here’s how you can navigate these conversations:

Decide What You’re Comfortable Sharing

  • Personal Boundaries: Before engaging in conversations, decide how much information you’re comfortable sharing about your surrogacy journey. It’s okay to keep some details private.
  • Prepare Responses: Having a few prepared responses can help you feel more in control during unexpected or intrusive questions.

Educate Where Appropriate

  • Misconceptions: Surrogacy is a topic surrounded by misconceptions. When faced with questions or comments, use the opportunity to educate others, if you feel comfortable doing so.
  • Share Resources: Sometimes, directing people to reputable sources of information can be an effective way to address their curiosity or misconceptions.

Use Simple and Clear Language

  • Avoid Jargon: When explaining aspects of the surrogacy process, use simple and clear language. Avoid medical or legal jargon that might confuse those unfamiliar with the topic.
  • Be Concise: Aim to keep your explanations brief unless the person expresses a genuine and respectful interest in learning more.

Express Your Emotional Journey

  • Share Feelings: If you’re comfortable, sharing your feelings about the surrogacy process can help others understand the emotional depth of your journey. This can create empathy and reduce insensitive comments.
  • Highlight Positives: Focusing on the positive aspects of your experience can help shape people’s perceptions of surrogacy.

Set and Enforce Boundaries

  • Firm Boundaries: Politely but firmly set boundaries when questions or comments become too intrusive or are based on negative stereotypes.
  • Redirect Conversation: If you don’t wish to engage in a discussion about surrogacy, it’s perfectly acceptable to redirect the conversation to another topic.

Understand the Perspective of Others

  • Curiosity vs. Judgment: Try to differentiate between questions that stem from curiosity and those that are judgmental. This can help you decide how to respond.
  • Empathize: Remember that surrogacy is not widely understood, and some questions may come from a place of genuine interest or concern.

Support from Others

  • Involve Your Support System: Having friends or family who understand your journey can help manage conversations, especially if they can offer their perspective or support in discussions.
  • Professional Support: Surrogacy agencies and support groups can offer advice on addressing common questions and dealing with unsolicited comments.

Reflect Your Confidence

  • Confidence in Your Decision: Expressing confidence in your decision to pursue surrogacy can help deflect criticism and reassure those around you.
  • Positivity: Maintaining a positive outlook, even in the face of challenging questions, can influence how others perceive your journey.