Emotional and Psychological Aspects of Surrogacy

Surrogacy is as much an emotional journey as it is a medical one. While the physical processes get a lot of attention, the psychological impact on surrogates and intended parents is profound. Many people enter surrogacy with excitement and hope, yet they quickly discover that the path is filled with complex feelings – from joy and pride to anxiety and grief. Understanding these emotions and having strategies to address them ensures that both parties feel supported and connected.

Understanding the Emotional Journey

Every surrogacy journey begins with excitement, hope and sometimes fear. Surrogates may feel pride in helping another family while also navigating attachments to the baby they carry. Intended parents experience relief that their dream is within reach but can also wrestle with feelings of loss or control as someone else carries their child. Recognising these emotions early allows all parties to take proactive steps to care for their mental health.

Building a Support System

As the Fertility Agency notes, a strong support system provides stability during the surrogacy process. Sharing the decision to become a surrogate with close friends and family builds a foundation of love and understanding, while connecting with other surrogates through online forums creates camaraderie and shared wisdom. Intended parents should also lean on trusted friends and professionals for support, creating a network that celebrates milestones and provides comfort during challenges.

Setting Emotional Boundaries

Establishing boundaries between surrogates and intended parents fosters respect and trust. Agreements about communication frequency, involvement in prenatal appointments and the birth plan should be discussed openly. Honest conversations about expectations and feelings help prevent misunderstandings and create a collaborative partnership.

Managing Postpartum Emotions

After the baby is born, surrogates may experience a range of emotions, from joy in seeing the intended parents meet their child to sadness or hormonal shifts that contribute to postpartum depression. According to American Surrogacy, postpartum depression can affect surrogates one to three weeks after delivery and includes symptoms like anxiety, crying, hopelessness and restlessness. Recognising these signs and seeking support early ensures recovery.

Coping Strategies and Professional Support

Coping strategies include mindfulness techniques, journaling, deep breathing and counseling. Working with mental health professionals helps surrogates and intended parents process complex feelings. Agencies like The Fertility Agency emphasise the importance of individual and joint counseling sessions to maintain strong relationships and emotional health throughout the journey. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.

Expert Quote

“Mental health support should be integrated into every surrogacy plan. By normalising conversations about emotional wellbeing, we protect surrogates and intended parents from feelings of isolation and create healthier families.” – Dr. Kulsoom, MBBS, Patients Medical NYC

Patient Case Study

Emma, a first-time surrogate from Toronto, was thrilled to help her sister and brother-in-law become parents. Halfway through her pregnancy, she began feeling unexpected sadness and anxiety. Her agency connected her with a therapist who helped her understand that these emotions were a normal part of the surrogacy journey. Through weekly counseling and open communication with the intended parents, Emma felt supported. She delivered a healthy baby and reported that her mental health tools still help her in daily life.

Testimonials

“I never imagined the emotional rollercoaster of surrogacy. My agency’s counseling services and support group calls were lifesaving.”

– Maya, Surrogate

“Having a psychologist available through our agency made a world of difference. We felt heard and validated.”

– James and Priya, Intended Parents

“Meditation, journaling and therapy allowed me to stay grounded and celebrate the miracle I was part of.”

– Sofia, Surrogate

Don’t Miss These Resources

• Understanding the surrogacy process (see our surrogacy process guide)
• Preparing for parenthood through surrogacy (see our preparation blog)
• Post-birth support resources (see our support blog )

FAQs

Q: What mental health resources are available?

Ans: Many agencies provide counseling and connect surrogates with therapists.

Q: How can intended parents support their surrogate emotionally?

Ans: Regular check-ins, empathy and respect for boundaries foster trust.

Q: Is postpartum depression common?

Ans: It can occur in surrogates; awareness and early intervention are key.

Next Steps with Patients Medical NYC

If you are considering surrogacy or are in the midst of your journey, Patients Medical NYC offers comprehensive emotional and medical support. Contact us to learn more about counseling services, support groups and personalised care plans.