Matching Philosophy: How to Build a Values‑Aligned Relationship With Your Surrogate in NY

Matching is about more than availability—it’s about shared values and clear expectations. This guide helps you build a relationship that supports everyone’s well‑being.

Defining Shared Values

Explore views on medical decisions, communication cadence, and boundaries upfront.

• Preferences for updates (weekly texts vs. monthly calls).
• Views on selective reduction and delivery preferences.
• Comfort with social media or public sharing.

Communication Framework

Structured, respectful communication reduces anxiety and prevents misunderstandings.

• Set a cadence and pick primary channels (text/email/portal).
• Agree on response time norms and escalation paths.
• Use shared calendars for appointments and milestones.

Boundaries & Privacy

Healthy relationships respect time, space, and privacy.

• Define visiting expectations and who attends appointments.
• Clarify gift policies and budgets early.
• Follow the surrogate’s preferences for photos and sharing.

Sustaining the Relationship

Rituals and gratitude create meaning—before, during, and after birth.

• Small gestures (notes, care packages) at milestones.
• Post‑birth boundaries and potential ongoing contact.
• Conflict‑resolution plan with your case manager’s support.

Case Study

A NYC couple and their surrogate agreed to weekly texts and a monthly call, plus shared calendars. Clear boundaries around visits and photos prevented misunderstandings and kept the relationship warm and respectful.

Testimonials

• “Values‑based matching made the whole journey feel natural.” — J.&A., Manhattan
• “Our communication cadence kept stress low for everyone.” — N.&C., Queens
• “Boundaries were clear, which helped us all feel respected.” — L.&T., Long Island

Internal Linking Suggestions

Find a Surrogate in the USA

Find a Surrogate in Canada

Become a Surrogate

Egg Donor Options in the USA

Indian Egg Donors

Patients Medical – Wellness & Fertility

FAQs

Q. What if we disagree on a sensitive topic?

Ans : Address it early with your case manager and counselors; alignment should be documented in the contract.

Q. How often should we communicate?

Ans : Whatever feels respectful and supportive—set expectations in writing to avoid mismatched assumptions.

Q. Should we stay in touch after birth?

Ans : It’s personal. Discuss preferences and boundaries before delivery.