Solo mothers often face an important question: when and how to tell their child about their birth story.
According to a survey of 38 solo mothers who built their families through fertility treatment, nearly all chose to disclose that their child was donor-conceived, typically doing so at an early age.
Today, most experts recommend introducing this topic from infancy, using age-appropriate language and maintaining openness and honesty from the start. This approach helps normalize the child’s story and avoids confusion later in life.
Some mothers, however, prefer to wait until their child is older and better able to understand the concept. Yet, studies of adult donor-conceived individuals suggest that those who learned their story earlier were less likely to experience shock, confusion, or feelings of mistrust when they eventually learned the truth.
The key takeaway: early, truthful, and gentle communication helps children feel secure and accepted in their family story.
For solo mothers who conceived using donor sperm, another consideration is whether to seek out and connect with their child’s donor siblings—sometimes affectionately called “diblings.” These are children conceived from the same sperm donor.
Research from the Donor Sibling Registry, published in Human Reproduction, found that about 70% of solo mothers were able to locate at least one of their child’s donor siblings. On average, families discovered three donor siblings, and most described the experience as overwhelmingly positive—with fewer than 2% reporting any negative effects.
When meetings did occur, both mothers and children generally found them enriching and rewarding, often forming meaningful bonds.
Challenges typically arose only when families disagreed about how to define these relationships—whether as siblings, extended family, or simply friends—and how frequently to stay in contact.
Experts suggest that introducing donor siblings early in childhood can make the process smoother, as young children more easily form natural, lasting connections. Meeting later in life can be more complex but still valuable when handled thoughtfully and with open communication.
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