Many foster parents describe this as the most meaningful — and most difficult — work they’ve ever done. Around 50%–60% of children entering the foster care system face significant emotional or behavioral challenges.
Unfortunately, outcomes after leaving the system remain concerning. Research shows that children who have been in foster care are more likely to experience Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) than even military veterans, highlighting the deep emotional toll of early instability and loss.
This is why a foster parent’s stability and consistency are so powerful. When children experience frequent moves or disrupted placements, it weakens their ability to trust, form attachments, and feel safe.
Conversely, children who experience reliable, long-term care are more likely to thrive — succeeding in school, building confidence, and forming healthy relationships. Every moment of calm, patience, and reassurance you offer teaches them:
“You are safe, you are valued, and you are worth staying for.”
Even on difficult days, showing up with steadiness is one of the most healing gifts you can give a child who has known too much uncertainty.
Caring for children who have faced trauma, neglect, or abuse can be deeply rewarding — but also emotionally draining. Many foster parents encounter anger, sadness, or defiance that stems from a child’s pain, and over time, this can weigh heavily on their own mental health, relationships, and careers.
Studies show foster parents are three times more likely to request a child’s removal than the child is to request a new placement.
A study of over 400 foster children in San Diego revealed two key findings:
Children who already displayed disruptive behaviors were more likely to be moved.
Children who were stable at first often developed behavioral issues later if they experienced a placement disruption.
This reinforces an essential truth: when foster parents “give up” on a struggling child, the cycle of trauma deepens. Every return or move increases the emotional wounds you’re trying to help heal.
There’s no perfect formula for being an excellent foster parent — but several key practices make a difference.
If your motivation is to help a child without expecting praise or recognition, you’re starting from the right place. Fostering demands humility, empathy, and perseverance.
Be honest about the ages, backgrounds, and needs you feel prepared to handle. Biases and fears may surface — and that’s normal. Reflecting on them early helps prevent burnout and regret later.
Understand what frustrates or angers you and where those feelings come from. Recognizing these patterns helps you respond thoughtfully instead of reactively, creating space for trust and understanding.
Focus first on connection over correction. Let the child feel heard, seen, and cared for before enforcing routines. Relationships built on respect and empathy last far longer than rules alone.
Most children in foster care have experienced trauma that shapes their behavior. Educate yourself on trauma responses — for instance, a child who hoards food may have faced hunger. Recognizing these behaviors as coping strategies allows for compassionate, effective support.
Food is emotional. Avoid strict restrictions or sudden changes. Involve the child in meal planning, keep familiar snacks, and introduce healthier options slowly. Familiar foods can offer comfort in a new environment.
The ultimate goal is to make the child feel fully part of your family. Include them in daily activities, listen to their opinions, and show consistent affection. Let them know — through words and actions — that they are loved and valued as your own.
Our job is to listen, to connect the dots between your needs, and to determine how we can best help you have your baby. If you’re asking how much does it cost for a surrogate, we’ll walk you through every step of the process to ensure there are no surprises.
To make an appointment with one of our counselors or physicians, please call (212) 661-7673 or email info@surrogacy4all.com. We look forward to hearing from you.
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