Guide for Colleagues of those Childless by Circumstance

In every workplace, there are individuals whose lives have not included children — not by choice, but by circumstance. They may have faced infertility, health issues, relationship timing, or other life events that made parenthood impossible.

For many, this is an invisible grief carried quietly. Colleagues, often without realizing it, may make comments or assumptions that deepen that pain. As fertility experts, we know that understanding and sensitivity can transform the workplace experience for someone living with involuntary childlessness.

This course offers guidance for coworkers on how to interact with empathy, maintain respect, and create a more inclusive environment for all.

Why Awareness Matters

Workplaces often celebrate parenthood — baby showers, family leave announcements, and casual talk about children are common. For someone who is childless by circumstance, these moments can be reminders of loss or exclusion.

Colleagues who are aware of this reality can make a profound difference. Awareness helps prevent unintentional insensitivity and ensures that every employee feels seen, valued, and respected regardless of their family status.

Understanding Childlessness by Circumstance

Being childless by circumstance means not having children due to factors outside one’s control. This may include:

• Medical infertility or failed fertility treatments

• Health conditions preventing pregnancy

• Late partnerships or singlehood

• Financial, social, or personal barriers

• Life choices made under constraint rather than preference

These circumstances can bring emotional and social challenges that extend into the professional sphere — affecting confidence, sense of belonging, and workplace engagement.

What Colleagues Can Do

1. Be Mindful of Conversations
Casual workplace talk often centers around family or children. Be aware that not everyone shares that experience. Avoid questions like “When are you having kids?” or assumptions such as “You wouldn’t understand unless you’re a parent.”

2. Practice Empathy, Not Pity
Colleagues who are childless by circumstance don’t need sympathy — they need understanding. Empathy means listening without judgment or offering unsolicited advice.

3. Respect Privacy
Not everyone wishes to share their personal fertility or life journey. Respect boundaries and avoid probing into private matters.

4. Be Inclusive
Workplace events, casual conversations, and team celebrations should be inclusive of all employees — not centered solely around family or children.

5. Offer Subtle Support
A kind word, an understanding nod, or small acts of inclusion can go a long way in helping someone feel accepted and valued.

Avoiding Common Missteps

Even well-meaning colleagues can unintentionally say or do things that hurt. Some examples include:

• Saying “You’ll change your mind someday” or “You can always adopt.”

• Assuming childless people have “more free time” or “less responsibility.”

• Comparing their situation to parenthood.

• Ignoring their presence during family-oriented discussions or celebrations.

Instead, focus on inclusion, professionalism, and respect for their individuality beyond their parental status.

Creating a Supportive Workplace Culture

Colleagues play a vital role in shaping workplace culture. Support can start small — through kindness, awareness, and inclusion — but it grows through collective effort.

Ways to support inclusivity include:

• Encouraging leadership to recognize diverse family experiences.

• Supporting HR initiatives around fertility and mental well-being.

• Promoting open discussions on empathy and respect in workplace trainings.

• Ensuring that all team celebrations and communications are inclusive.

Why It Matters — The Bigger Picture

For many people who are childless by circumstance, their professional life becomes a key source of identity and purpose. Feeling respected at work can greatly improve their overall emotional well-being.

When colleagues understand this topic, they help create a culture where empathy and professionalism coexist — one that values every person’s unique life story.

Surrogacy4All believes that workplaces should be safe spaces where no one feels “othered” for circumstances beyond their control.