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Becoming a Single Mother -Studies, Perspectives and Advice From Adult Children

Course / Adopting for Single Womenh

Studies on Psychological States

Although numerous studies have explored the potential negative psychological effects of growing up in a single-parent household, very few specifically examine children born to single mothers by choice.

Most existing research centers on children from divorced families—who may have experienced emotional upheaval—or children born from unplanned pregnancies, which often correlate with fewer financial resources and related stressors.

However, studies from institutions such as Cambridge University (UK) focusing exclusively on single-mothers-by-choice families show a very different picture. Their findings reveal that children aged 4–9, conceived through fertility treatment, exhibit no greater likelihood of psychological issues than peers raised in two-parent households.

Researcher Jadva also found that most single mothers reported their children did not feel “left out” or “different.” While slight perspective differences exist between children conceived through fertility treatment and those adopted, these variations were not statistically significant.

Perspectives of Children

Sense of Family Completeness
Children of solo mothers often feel that their families are entirely whole. Many even express curiosity about how two-parent households manage differing opinions, parenting styles, and household dynamics.

Emotional Closeness
These children typically develop deep bonds with their mothers. They often view themselves as a team, showing strong empathy and protectiveness, especially regarding their mother’s wellbeing and future.

Rule-Making and Fairness
In a single-parent household, the mother is the sole decision-maker. While children sometimes perceive this as unfair, especially during adolescence, most grow to understand and respect the consistency and clarity it provides.

Smaller Family Dynamics
With many solo mothers choosing to have one child, children experience both the benefits and challenges of smaller families—enjoying undivided attention yet occasionally wishing for a sibling to share experiences and companionship.

Parental Dating
While children generally want their mothers to find happiness, they are often hesitant about welcoming a new person into their tight-knit family unit. The adjustment can take time and sensitivity.

Responding to Questions About Fathers
Children of solo mothers frequently encounter questions about their “father.” Most confidently repeat the honest, straightforward explanations their mothers have taught them, and such conversations rarely cause discomfort.

Understanding Birth Stories
For many, their origin story has been a natural, ongoing part of family conversation since early childhood. As one child summarized: “Start early, tell the truth, make it age-appropriate.”
Adults who grew up in solo-mother families often express gratitude for this openness, noting it fostered acceptance, self-confidence, and the language to navigate questions from others with ease.