“Openness” in adoption can mean many things. It may refer to how openly parents discuss adoption with their child (“communicative openness”) or the level of contact between birth and adoptive families, including relatives.
In a closed adoption, there’s no exchange of identifying information or contact between parties. However, with today’s technology and DNA testing, total privacy is increasingly rare.
An open adoption involves sharing identifying details, meeting in person, and often maintaining ongoing contact. Studies show that openness usually leads to more positive outcomes for everyone.
A mediated adoption falls in between—an agency or professional manages communication. The amount of contact varies and may change over time.
In the past, most adoptions were closed, and children often weren’t told they were adopted—an approach linked to poorer mental health outcomes.
Research shows that earlier awareness of being adopted is associated with better emotional well-being. Today, most adoptions are either mediated or open, reflecting a shift toward transparency.
Openness exists on a spectrum. Some families stay in frequent contact; others interact less often. Relationships evolve with time, just like any other human connection.
Studies show that greater contact between adoptive and birth families often leads to higher satisfaction and emotional stability.
Adopted children tend to have stronger identity and self-esteem when they know their origin story. Interestingly, while adoptive parents may start hesitant, they often grow to value more openness over time.
Birth parents also benefit—those with continued contact report less anxiety and regret about their decision.
Levels of contact naturally change over time. Birth parents may have periods of less communication, while others may reconnect after years. As with extended family relationships, frequency can vary due to life circumstances or distance.
Even though openness often leads to positive outcomes, it’s not always simple:
Birth parents’ situations may change (new family, financial stress, etc.).
Adoptive parents may face life events or distance that reduce contact.
Safety concerns may limit communication if a birth parent’s environment becomes unstable.
Financial boundaries are important, as post-adoption financial help can create tension.
Make a plan: Set expectations for communication and revisit them regularly.
Stay child-focused: Keep the child’s emotional well-being at the center.
Maintain boundaries: Openness isn’t co-parenting—think of it as an extended family relationship.
Seek support: Counseling or post-adoption services can help families navigate this unique bond.
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